The Savage Good-Looking Stars

Bob, ,

The strain all afternoon whipping up ghosts, concerning itself,
As I am walking, if I will go on just because
I’ve yet to go this way.

The night sky prefers Euclidean simplicity,
Trestles of endless rust-colored dusk, and the savage good looking stars.

As for beginnings, as for setting out, what is there to speak of?
That frost knows more about fractals then I do,
Echoes are nests for sound?

I think we are all philosophers, and poor ones at that.
I think we are all arm wrestlers and tobogganists and of the future.

Always the strain late into the afternoon, as the moon wiggles out of itself, and is the first to
Thrust its hands into the sea.

15 thoughts on “The Savage Good-Looking Stars”

  1. This is wonderful, Bob! I love the whole meandering narrative of it. It gave me a cosy autumnal feeling. The line: “Echoes are nests for sound?” really got me thinking. And I love the line about arm-wrestlers and tobogganists. Probably one of my favourites of yours 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  2. great title, Bob; so many good lines: ‘the night sky prefers Euclidean simplicity’ , ‘the rust-coloured dusk’ and ‘echos are nests for sound’ are my favourites; and that one about the moon ‘being the first to put its hands into the sea; brilliant and invigorating 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  3. i’m ready to take a shower with my eyes closed and walk backwards to work tomorrow. Bob, this poem inspires me to want to try these new things. Thank you. “if I will go on just because I’ve yet to go this way….”

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. Thanks Steve! I’m glad you think so. I’m glad you liked that line. I have a habit of making my walks a lot longer, just cause I feel I just have to see what’s around the next corner.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  6. I love this one so much, Bob. Savage good-looking stars is a savagely wounding yet whimsical title. But I loved the whole piece (with a few minor quibbles but this isn’t DOP so I won’t name them here :)). I just think this is so raw and good. I (like others here) adore the imagery of the final stanza, the fractals in the frost, echoes as “nests for sound”, the lines about philosophers and arm wrestlers and tobogganists. But especially that final stanza.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much Holly. I’m really happy you like it. I’d love to know your thoughts on this….should I post to DOP? It’s been awhile since anyone has.

      Like

      Reply

  7. I don’t think it needs the level of critique that DOP operates in, but here are a few suggestions which I have numbered. Take from it what you will, and dispose of what you dislike 🙂 Most of my suggestions deal with extra words or commas.

    #1
    The strain, all afternoon whipping up ghosts, concerning itself
    With whether I will go on because
    I’ve yet to travel this way.

    #2
    Endless trestles of rusted dusk, and the savage good looking stars.

    #3
    As for beginnings, as for setting out
    what is there to speak of?
    That frost knows more about fractals than I do,
    That Echoes are nests for sound?

    #4 arm wrestlers (remove hyphen?)

    #5
    Always the strain, late in the afternoon as the moon wriggles out of its shell,
    And is the first to
    Thrust its hands in the sea.

    Again, these are only syntactic and grammatical suggestions. I liked the final stanza as is (wriggles out of itself is good, too–I simply thought “shell” added another nautical dimension.) It’s all subjective, right?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thanks Holly. I definitely tend to over punctuate. And I think where you have “thrust hands” is much better then “put hands.” Thrust is exciting. Put is generic. I plan on making edits. Thanks for the wonderful suggestions.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

Leave a comment