I found my coat
Next to the words
For leaving
I thought for good
Here we are
Spilling gravity
Into the graffiti of
Poetry
Giving chance
Its due
After transcendence you end up standing in the dirt like the rest of us
-
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naïve haircuts 
I like “here we are” as a standalone moment, but how about this:
Here we are spilling
gravity into the graffiti
of poetry
It makes the gravity part a little odd, but “Here we are spilling” is a good sound.
Here
we are spilling gravity
Your poems allow for so much exploration. Great work as usual.
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Thanks Andy. I can’t say how much I appreciate that you would take the time to give a close reading to the poems I post. Really, it means a lot. Thank you for the suggestion, and that is the part of the poem I struggled with. I even thought as I posted it, this poem isn’t finished yet. I will continue you to work on this. But I really think you are right, something can be tweaked with those lines.
You have a skill for reading. Do you teach?
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Haven’t really taught, but I recently finished an English/creative writing degree. Spent a lot of time reading closely, workshopping, etc.
As far as the input – I prefer to say a little more than “awesome work!” or “another great read!” And anyway, thinking hard about other poems, I think, is a way to get better at my own.
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